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Random thoughts

Monday, March 28, 2005

You don't like me? I don't like you either.

Ever come across someone who, no matter how you try to befriend, he/she just remains aloof somehow? I can't seem to find the defrost button on some people I've met just recently. It's so weird because there are days when they're lukewarm, almost friendly, but then there are days when you can practically cut the awkwardness in the air. What is up with that?

Also, do you remember when you first met the person who is your best friend now? What was that defining moment when you finally said, "Wow, I can really get along with this person, and I want to spend more time with him/her."? When did you get past the small talk?

Small talk, by the way, is a necessary evil for me. I don't much care for it, but I know that it needs to happen in order for me to meet new people. But when does it stop? I feel so restless and impatient, because I feel like reaching out more to certain people I've met, yet I just don't know how well-received I'll be.

Pathetic, isn't it? But, for how shy I am, I really treasure the company of people; it's important for me to have friends in my support system. Otherwise, I just become too much of a hermit, and find myself with no one to do things with. But wait, that's not even the issue because I have a good number of friends here - it's just that there are still those people I'm in "small-talk" relationships with, and I hate it. I can't wait for these connections to move ahead into something more comfortable.

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