Random thoughts

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Transition

Yesterday was the first day of a transition that I'm going to have to make soon. Times like these are always scary because you're letting go of a good thing in order to do something that's relatively unknown to you. But this is a good step in the direction of what I've been whining about for so long. So all I have to do is take a deep breath, hope for the best and jump in. Nataliya will have a lot of work to do though because this period is proving to be very stressful for me.

In other news, I was finally able to complete a 5.11a. I use the word 'complete' loosely because I did do a little cheat rest, but I know that if I tried the climb again, I would make it. I've been feeling a little less frustrated with myself in the climbing front, so I suppose that's what fuels this sudden burst of power. I've also taken to taping my knuckles so that they won't swell up and hurt so much. That may be part of the reason as well. I still have to do that damn 5.10d that's overhanging though - this one takes you up to the corner of the arch into such a confined space that I inevitably start to get claustrophobic and panicky.

I don't know if those cheerleader people actually help me when it comes to moments like that, that exact moment when I feel my arms getting tired and I want to give up. When I first started climbing, I hated it when people would call up encouragements and advice at me. But then once I got into it, I found that it can help sometimes, and I found myself doing it to other people. But there's such a thing as overkill, and I suppose I've been guilty of that as well. So now I just shut up and let the climber climb. I might utter a word here and there but only when it's appropriate. Some people are like:

Climber gets his hand on the start hold and places his feet on the appropriate places.
Belayer/Spotter: C'mon, let's go, you can do it!!!
Climber (in his head): Shut up, I haven't even gotten off the ground yet!

I guess that works for some people. I don't mean to judge. It just doesn't work for me.

Anyway, after climbing last night, I got home and got ready for bed. When I pulled the sheets over me and reached out to turn my lamp off, for some reason I remembered the show that Marc and I watched on TV the other day - Supernatural. Darn it, I'm weak when it comes to scary things like that. The show was a little over the top but it didn't stop me from suddenly feeling very paranoid.

The end result? Slept with my lamp on again. That's two nights in a row now. Hopefully tonight I can stick to happy thoughts so I can turn out the lights.